AA Rod
Above: Alex Rodriguez, and another guy

Alexander Emmanuel “A-Rod” Rodriguez (born July 27, 1975) is a Dominican-American former professional baseball shortstop and third baseman. He played 22 seasons in Major League Baseball (MLB) for the Seattle Mariners, Texas Rangers, and New York Yankees. Rodriguez was one of the sport’s most highly touted prospects and is considered one of the greatest baseball players of all time.Wikipedia


I am not that Alex Rodriguez. My Wikipedia page would read something more like this:

Alex Robert “A-Rod” Rodriguez is a Mexican-American born in Venezuela and former High School marching band member who grew up in Austin, Texas. He later attended the University of Texas at San Antonio where he earned a Bachelors degree in Communications and completed the Air Force ROTC program and earned a commission into the United States Air Force. While serving, he earned a Master’s degree (that he swore he never wanted) in Administrative Leadership from The University of Oklahoma (which he grew up despising). After six years on active duty as an Airfield Operations officer, he and his infinitely smarter wife settled down in Denton, Texas. Alex spent six months building houses for Pulte Group before deciding he just hadn’t had enough schooling yet, and enrolled full time in the Mayborn School of Journalism at the University of North Texas. He also apparently hadn’t had enough of the Air Force, and now serves as a member in the Air Force Reserve with the 710th Combat Operations Squadron. For more information, please see his Professional Resume.